Monday, October 27, 2008

Shhh! Our Secret agenda- details exposed!

It's getting to the point in this campaign where things are getting very personal. I can't go 30 seconds in watching tv without some remark from the other camp calling me a socialist, anti-American, pot-head, feminazi etc. So, yeah, folks there is a hidden agenda when we get back in the White House:

  • We're taking your guns- all of them- even including but not limited to the sling-shots, bows and arrows, crossbows, pea-shooters, potato launchers, big rubber bands, paper clips, marshmallow guns, chef knives, cuticle trimmers and all liquids in containers larger than 4 fluid ounces.
  • We're redistributing the wealth- yes, we're coming into your gated community- razing the houses and putting up concrete mega apartment buildings- we'll even let the caddies into the pools.
  • No more work ethic- we Democrats don't have a work ethic- just check out our lackluster campaign offices
  • We'll raise your taxes
  • Keith Olbermann will be the voice of the nation
  • You will listen to Coldplay every morning
  • We'll outlaw any food that is bad for you- say goodbye to Wonder bread and feast on the dry hunk of multigrain flatbread. Say goodbye to soda of any kind. The only chocolate permissible will be fair trade and organic. The black markets will swell with the bacon and butter trade.
  • You'll work out every morning and night- and we'll watch you do it through your tv screen
  • You'll drink Merlot and love it
  • Everyone gets a clothing allowance from the RNC
  • Everyone will be addressed as comrade
  • All "anti-American" activities will be encouraged and rewarded
  • All the animals in the zoos will be let free
  • Mandatory recycling- including filtering toilet water
  • Children shall be raised by villages
  • We're coverting to the Metric system

Yes, comrades, the revolution is nigh. Grab your pitchforks and and cell phones and I'll see you at the campaign offices.

By all means people- get the facts and lose the hype. If you're worried about taxes- check this out: http://taxcut.barackobama.com/ I'll save money under Obama's plan- a lot more than under McCain.

1 comment:

Kate said...

All I will say is - you're awesome!